i temporarily deactivated my instagram (again) because i am reaching burnout with socials and log off more disgruntled and overstimulated than i do hopeful and fulfilled. i’m figuring out what my relationship to this machine will be over the next couple of years, given it’s been taken over by the advertising industry and is fighting to “win” in the intention economy war.

socialization and connection are no longer the priority; consumerism is. this is a part of the reason i want to go back to school – to begin to ponder, discuss, and imagine new ways of being in the world, especially in late-stage capitalism and the bottom line (greed/money)being the impetus for the continuation of instagram and apps like it.

in a conversation i was having with a dear friend the other day, i was asked if i have any aspirations of starting my own marketing/advertising agency one day to which i responded, “no.” i then want on to say, “all i want is to be a scholar, creative, and community member.”

for the first time in my life, i have no clue what i would like for my future career to look like. i simply know that i cannot stomach the idea of being trapped in corporate america for the next 30 years. perhaps this is what the scriptures mean when they say, “walk by faith and not by sight.” it’s a challenge to spend less time crafting 10 year plans and more time savoring the moment. less time stressing over who you have yet to become and more time sitting in gratitude for how much progress you’ve made. less time waiting around for the huge, miraculous “water turning to wine” moments and more time spent marveling at the miracles of the mundane.

maybe, just maybe, when isaiah says, “behold, i am doing a new thing,” we are being invited into a collective re-imagining of friendship and community building. beyond the phones. beyond the screens.

it’s an invitation to “queer” daily life. that is, to create outside of the status quo. birth into the world what cis-het white tech bros cannot code into existence. and that ultimately, the call is to embrace Death (big tech as “the” medium through which we navigate the world) so that Resurrection Life (the reclamation of our humanity) can take place.